Save Water, Drink Beer!

Very interesting quote! Never thought of it that way. Thank you for enlightening me....

I feel pretty good about myself knowing how I have contributed to the environment over the course of my life without even realising it - in fact, so much so that I think if I had pursued it, I may even have been awarded a Green Peace Environmental Award. Or badge. Or whatever. Heck, I think I have probably 'saved' enough water to be a lifetime recipient of the award.

Drinking beer doesnt just save the environment's water - it has other benefits to human life too! It makes the world a better place to live in - in one way or another. It build camaraderie, increases happiness levels, liven up parties, reduces suicide rates (happy people dont wanna die), improves cognitive functioning (for those who dont drink beer, this means it makes you smarter), cures insomnia (meaning: sleep better), lowers risks of cardiovascular diseases, etc... it's not rocket science, really!

And being the environmentalist that I am, I managed to 'save' 3 mugs of water this afternoon!

Am I Gay?

First things first - I am NOT homo-phobic! Just need to get that outta the way.

My reasoning here is that - for someone to ask that "Am I Gay?" question about himself is probably asking for it. Are you seriously expecting a straight (pun intended) answer to that? hahahaha.

There may be some questions about yourself that you may not be the best judge of, but I would think your sexual preferences shouldn't be one of them.

How hard can it be? Do you prefer guys or do you prefer girls? Or maybe you have preferences for both sexes. Straight up - A, B, or C answers.... There is no 'maybe a little of A and B' answers. Multiple choice. No twists or turns or potential hidden ideas behind the answers.

Having said that, there might be that chance (surprising as it may be, this statistic is probably a growing trend today) the person might have a preference for bestiality acts.... But let's safe that story for another day.

And just for the record: I'm not gay; not that there's anything wrong with that!

My Deteriorating Existence

- Do you feel that life has been unfair to you?
- Do you feel that your existence on this planet is just to make up the numbers so that the rich/powerful have more subjects to feel superior over?
- Are your favourite phrases: "I am depressed", "I feel miserable", "Life sucks", "They are bad", "I hate myself", "I can't do it"?
- Do you feel that you are living less as the days go by, and are just merely staying alive?
- Do you feel that you have forgotten the real reason you are living?

If you answered YES to any of the above, WAKE UP!!! The problem is not the world. Have you thought about where the root of the problem lies?

Sit back, close your eyes, have a breather, and think.....
- Has life really been unfair to you?
- Were you not born with all your limbs intact and food on the table to feed your hunger?
- Do you not have eyes to see?
- Did you not have the love and affection of family and friends (and sometimes even strangers) who have touched your heart in one way or another?

Heck, you're reading my blog - which means you have had the pleasure (and fortune) to afford a decent computer and internet access... what else can you complain about?

True, there may have been some downs in your life, but my philosophy in life is that there are no losers.... only quitters! Even a perfectly happy woman who starts saying to herself "I feel miserable, I hate myself" once every five minutes... even she would feel depressed. Heck, even her family and friends may be affected.

These kind of self-obsessive thoughts blind us to the needs of our family and friends, and we do nothing to help them. As a result, we receive less positive feedback and love from them, and also less simple satisfaction and joy of making them happy.

Morale of story: If you repeat your problems to yourself often enough, it will all come true!

Positive affirmations can have strong therapeutic effects; "Other people are much worse off than me", "I can help others", "I am OK". And not just upon yourself, but your aura will also live on in others. (ceh-wah, my phylosophical self talking)

Remember, tomorrow is a brand new 24 hours. Even today, there is still a couple of brand new hours awaiting us. Wake up before you lose your day. Life's not that bad, is it?

If all else fails, freat not - there's always Blues music... or Daniel Powter's "Bad Day"!

Creditors have better memory than debtors!

Interesting observation. Makes you wonder how easy people forget once they have gotten/received that favour from you. Especially when it comes to money!!!

When they're desperate for money, they are like your best friends. Actually, more like a bloodsucking leech that doesnt want to remove itself from you - hanging around you 24/7, the constant phone calls, the "masterplan" of why they need the money, and face thick as brick - with the intentions of asking for some money with the promise to pay you back in due time with interest rates that will make even loan sharks salivating for their business!

Once money has been transfered or handed over, dont be surprised if they magically turns into Harry Houdini with the disappearing/escape act still intact. Flash Gordon wouldnt be able to catch up with them.

And in the remote chance that you do suddenly bump into them after much searching, you should probably expect the following reactions:
a) dont worry, i will pay you back your money. give me your bank details, and i'll transfer the money to your account next week.
b) aiyo, you so rich... what's the hurry?
c) hey, long time no see. eh, can you wait for a while, need to go to the toilet. (and promptly disappears... again!)
d) how's business? oh, you wanna come check out my new Merc SLK parked outside?

kinda makes a mockery of a famous saying...
Forget favours you have bestowed, Remember those you have received.

But sometimes, just sometimes, an exception to the rule may work in the lender's favour - if lending someone $20 means never having to see that person again, it was probably worth it!!!

Mistrust makes life difficult, Trust makes it risky!

Hmmmmm, food for thought indeed! Never thought it of that way, but couldnt agree more.... Think about it - who else would be able to commit the ultimate sabotage than your own best friends or family. I may not be much of a strategist (in fact, dont think I'm much of anything), but one of my all time favourite quotes is Sun Tzu's "be close to your friends, closer to your enemies!".

Imagine if your so-called "best" friend decides to be an arse and rats on you. Or that your so-called "best" friend was only there in your times of need becoz he/she needed some juicy tales to use when he/she eventually decided to blackmail you for a brand new SLK in exchange for keeping his damn mouth shut. Only God knows what kind of skeletons will be released from the closet. Even you may not know what poppycock may be fabricated to insinuate you.

So, next time you're looking for someone to share your deepest darkest secrets with.... just talk to your imaginary friend. Or that teddy bear you have on your bed. Or if you really need to see a real-life moving person, stand in front of the bloody mirror!!! (Just make sure no one else sees you doing this, might be a tad embarrassing). Or start a blog. You dont expect any advice anyway, so why the need to talk to someone? You have been warned.

But if you're still looking for a "best" friend to share your classified, confidential, secrets.... you can always trust me! ;)

Good Boys Go To Heaven, Bad Boys Get The Chicks....

Hahahahaha. How many times have we heard that line? We all secretly harbour that wish we could be that "bad" boy that girls love having flings with. Even if it were for a week. Or a day. Or even an hour.

However, I dont think I am in the position to say anything more on this for fear of getting in trouble with my other half (yes, the years have taught me much about things like this - but that's another story). But still, I couldn't resist the temptation to share this YM status with you all - how true (or untrue) you may think it is.

And just for argument sake, I am probably one of the exceptions - good boy getting the chick! :)

Hypocrites Should Be Shot Dead...

HYPOCRITES - Dont we all just love them to pieces? So much so that it would please us to death to be able to blow them away into tiny little pieces of scrap. I like to refer to them as "a waste of sperm".

How much fun is it walking around constantly wearing a "mask", conning people and feigning oneself to be what he/she is not? How do people like that sleep at night? False pretenders simulating piety. Do these people actually believe that we cannot see through their deceit and lies? Maybe not all the time, but eventually words spread.

Well, I have only one thing to say to you... actually, I dont. Waste of my breath.

But if I had to pity them, it would be for purely one reason and one reason only - it's so so sad that they do not have the chance to really know and learn about themselves. They're too busy playing someone else. Maybe, just maybe... deep deep deep down, really deep down, under some rocks and beneath the crater, they MIGHT just be reasonably "nice" people. I guess we'll never know.

However, for sake of not wanting to be bias, I can think of more people I would like to see get shot!
1. Traffic Policemen
2. Bad Drivers (including road hogs)
3. Incest Offenders
4. Fat Ugly Women
5. Obnoxious People
6. Rich People (this stems from pure jealously!!!)
7. The Spice Girls - not Ginger, Scary, Posh, Sporty and Baby, but the ones working in KL Sentral whom I shall keep anonymous (you know who they are!)
8. Ex-girlfriends
9. People with BO
10. Micheal Learns To Rock

Anyone has anymore to add to the list?

Hmmmm... Stories Flying Around Are Getting Juicier

You know what...
You wouldnt believe what I just heard....
Did you hear about....
Promise not to tell anyone what I'm about to tell you...
Jack told me that....

Havent we all done our fair share of gossiping. That weakness to share that secret (sacredly pledged just 10-mins ago) with someone, just to show off that you got news of it first. Then comes that craving to twist the truth to exaggerate the situation. That same very urge to add just that little bit of drama to spice up the story.

Gossip seeps through every corners of our lives - every dinner table, every bathroom stalls, every work cubicle, every city malls. In fact, gossip seeps through our very veins - keeping us alive!

Gossip is entertainment for most people... as long as it's not about them!

A poem I came across many weeks back - interesting read!

I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted the more I am believed.
I flourish at every level of society.
My victims are helpless; they cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.
To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody's friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and ruin marriages.
I end ministries set up by God.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion.
I spawn suspicion and generate grief.
I make headlines, headaches and heartaches.
I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
Even my name hisses.
WHO AM I? I AM GOSSIP.


Did I just hear a collective gasp of disbelief amongst the gossip kings and queens of Malaysia (and the rest of the world), followed by a half-full cup of realisation that the statement above is indeed..... true?

Is It All About The Money, Honey?

M-O-N-E-Y!
a.k.a: ka-ching, duit, bucks, cash, dough, moolah, dollar, Oprah Winfrey, etc.

Everyone's favourite indulgence and taboo! When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

With $$$, comes status, respect (sometimes), a bunch of "yes" men plus that $125k watch, $3.5m yatch, $50k holidays, $5.2m villa in the Bahamas, etc... you get my drift! With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome and you sing well too!

How money make the world go round. Money has so much impact on our very existence that it was only a matter of time before..... wait a minute, EVERYTHING IS ALREADY ABOUT THE MONEY!!! I admit I'm guilty of it myself at times. Actually, many times. A lot of time. All the time. But experience, observation, judgment, and know-how over the years have made me realise (and accept) that I am probably not in line to be the next Bill Gates. Not even close. In fact, I'm probably as far away from that as one can get from being that! hahahaha.

But have you stopped for just one minute to ever wonder.... why has $$$ become such an important commodity in this world? To you. To everyone.

Easy for me to say.... hahaha. I think I'm having an "Out-Of-Money" experience!!!

The Conspiracy, The Idiots, The Cowards and The Bitch...

Having had experience of being tangled in a web of lies, empty promises and deception in my last job, i can definitely relate to the status my ex-colleague posted on her IM today. It's got all the ingrediants for a pretty darn interesting movie.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing "The Radius Connection" (we might just be staring at the first global blockbuster from Malaysia)

Main Plot (aka Conspiracy)
- An international white-collar crime drama, starring a husband/wife team committing illegal, wrongful, and subversive acts of crime
- Headquartered in the dark (no pun intended) corners of Brickfields, this "Italian Mafia / Chinese Communist"-plotted espionage stretches to every corner of the world (from Singapore to Australia to USA to UK to India)

Main Actor (aka The Bitch)
- The lewd, loud, spiteful and overbearing mastermind of "The Radius Connection" operation (unfortunately seem to have left "mind" somewhere else)
- Hardly seen in HQ, only seen during routine "Dr"-prescribed Anger Release Therapy sessions
- Lives in own imaginary GohOneKnee world of denial (somehow seem to think she is "gwailo" - born and bred in Australia - but is in fact born in small village of Muar)
Favourite Phrases: In all my years of working experience, Why is everything so slow???, I wished I had a son just like him...

Supporting Actor (aka The Coward)
- The Bitch's "Dr" husband (or whoever else fronting "The Radius Connection" operation in "Dr"'s absence), always showing ignoble fear in the face of danger or pain (i.e. when speaking to The Bitch)
- Best friends with Idiots, manipulating Idiots into carrying out dirty deeds for The Bitch
Favourite Phrases: No distinguishing dialogue, just repeats after The Bitch...

Extras (aka The Idiots)
- The Bitch's loyal servants, ready and willing to cater to her every whimper and desire, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant
- Similar role to Coward, except Idiots do not know what they're getting themselves into... in fact, Idiots dont really know much about anything at all
- The guys who would normally end up bankrupt and/or loses arm/leg/eye and/or dead and/or shot and/or in jail
- Usually portrayed by person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers
Favourite Phrases: Yes, Can be done, When do you need it?

The Radius Connection is already a very popular Reality TV series airing right here in KL (everyday from 9am-6pm). However, uncontented with just being infamous in Malaysia, The Bitch is planning on going GLOBAL...

Anyone's got Ron Howard or Brian Singer's contacts?

Driving Merc To Interview...

First, some background - This good friend of mine owns a pretty damn successful business of his own, has 30+ staff on his payroll, and drives a Proton Wira! I am assuming he interviewed a potential candidate and he/she came in driving a Mercedes! A fresh grad looking for a job, pulling up in a Merc to your office.... talk about trying to deflate your potential boss' ego!

My first question: Why do parents buy Mercedes for their kids to drive on a daily basis??? To compensate for their lack of love, time, affection and attention to their kids?

My next question: How do they bloody afford it??? If their kids drive Mercs/BMWs, they would probably be driving a __________ (fill in the blank yourself).

Reminds me of a story back in my days I was a kid in a small, humble and laid-back "beach" town on the East Coast of Malaysia, when we got excited just getting the latest Vanilla Ice music cassettes or $200 mountain bikes... and a school mate of mine got a brand new BMW 318i as a pressie when he got his driver's license! He was 17.

I can still picture him pulling into the school carpark in his silver BMW every morning.... and then him changing his punctured tyres every afternoon after school. Yes, EVERYDAY!!! Hahaha. And shiny BMW soon became full-of-scratches BMW. Almost every kid who walks past the car either deflates his tyres, or had a key (or coin, or nail-clipper, or stone, or whatever else) in hand. Me included. Yes, me! Mr Angel "goody-goody-two-shoes" Boy!

Stylish as his BMW may be, the impression he had wanted to portray comes crashing down when you see his overweight mass labouring away in his sweat-drenched uniform changing his punctured tyres!!! Or when his mom came to school (twice!) to address every classroom individually on the (im)moral(ity) of our (mis)behaviour. Instead of being the school's style icon, he became the school's court jester.

Why did we do it? Jealousy? Probably not. Peer pressure? Nopes. Thinking back, it was most definitely for the fun of it. Hahahaha. Oh, and no one was ever caught! Maybe probably becoz the prefects and teachers may have been in it themselves too! That's a thought.... (scenario: 36-year-old teacher slaving away on minimum wage sees snotty 17-year-old student prancing around in brand new BMW).

Call him dense or call him persistent... maybe he really did love his car very much - enough to have to go through all the torture just to enjoy a 5min drive to school. I've never personally owned a BMW to truly appreciate the driving pleasures of its historical European marques, but c'mon!!! How much fun is it REALLY to drive a BMW???

5mins of fun in BMW > 17 new scratches + 30mins of changing punctured tyres everyday?
You do the maths.

Just goes to show how ignorant, self-absorbed and dim-witted some rich some people can be. And then some more. And a little bit more.

Mental note to self: When my kids grow up, they buy their own cars with their own money! (not that I can afford to buy them one anyway, but that's another story)

Have You Ever Wondered...

ever wondered what weird nonsense goes through people's minds everyday? nah, neither have i. hahahaha. but being an avid instant messaging user, i have noticed many interesting IM status messages posted by my friends, colleagues, long lost friends, enemies, strangers, street vendors, etc....

some have raised curiosity (at least to me). i have to say, i am NOT a very curious soul. so, i was thinking.... if some of these phrases can get me thinking about what nonsense the other party may be going through, it MUST be worth at least a mention!

but then again, many of these status messages can (and will continue to be) ignored completely. no offense intended.... and none taken!

hence, let this be my contribution to the world. call it an ode to instant messaging, or just plain useless jabber to waste 15mins of my time everyday. your call. you decide. i'm just trying to kill 15mins of my time :)